Bon Voyage

This time where you lead, I cannot follow ...

I don't get into too many tv shows to the point where I feel an emotional attachment to the characters, but Gilmore GIrls is (was) one of them. Sure, I was upset when Friends and Sex in the City came to an end, but this time it's different. I feel like I have lost a member of my family -- sure my crazy, fast talking family, but still my family nontheless. I felt like that show made me smarter. They would make so many cultural references in one episode that some of them I would have to look up afterwards just to know what the heck they were talking about. It was also nice to see on television people talking on my level -- fast, coffee induced rambles. I could relate. And I liked it.

So, now I'm left wondering -- will Luke and Loralai really be together forever? Will Rory and Logan ever speak again (that was the most uninspiring breakup ever)? Where is Jess? How come Rory didn't say goodbye to Paris? What will happen to Kirk now, what will his next stunt be? What will Rory do with the rocketship?

I know I sound crazy, they are all just characters in a fake show. But, after seven years they seemed like more. And I will miss them.

An Open Letter to Hollywood

Dear [Insert Crazy "Celebrity" Name Here]:

I would like to start off my letter by saying you're stupid. I'm sorry, it's the truth. You ARE stupid. I don't think it's the actions so much, as it is what you think will happen because of said actions. Actually, no -- it's the actions, too. Let's formulate a couple of "If A then B scenarios" to help you grasp the concept. I'll start off easy:

* If you shave your head, you will be bald
* If you don't shower, you will smell
* If you don't eat, people will think you are anorexic
* If you drink too much, you will be drunk
* If you drive while drunk and get caught, you will be arrested

I'm just covering the basics of the headlines I see EVERY week. You think you would catch on? Fake Hollywood rehab where you can meet your next baby's mama or papa doesn't count as real therapy -- you need it, go get some. The next time you want to go out the club for some photo ops -- hire a freaking driver! I know you can afford it. Try buying one less diamond necklace for your dog, it'll cover it. And finally, if you decide to ignore all my sane advice -- deal with the consequences. Trust me, they would be a lot worse for the average citizen.

I know some of you out there are actually intelligent, generous and talented people, but unfortunately you're being brought down by the dumb ones. Maybe it's time for a backlash?

Sincerely,
Concerned Average Jane

Talking and Tinkling?

So apparently I never had to deal with this issue before since my last company had a nice, unisex, onesy bathroom. But, now I am faced every day with having to make small talk in the bathroom. Talking while I tinkle? No, thank you. I find myself letting out a sigh of relief when I enter the room and no one is in there. And then it's a mad dash to finish before anyone else enters or time it perfectly so that I leave the stall while someone else is in the other stall and I am finished washing my hands before they leave (no desire to talk while someone else tinkles, either). I'm not sure where this phobia even comes from or why I continue to go through all this effort to avoid what is probably inevitable. Instead of spending all my energy on avoiding the tinkle talking, maybe I should put it to good use and learn to accept it. I mean everyone else seems to be ok with it - I guess I should be, too.

No Comment

I had every intention of posting a cutesy blog today about karma finally biting me in the butt for laughing at Shauna falling flat on her face because that's exactly what I did this morning when leaving the gym, but my banged up knees and bruised ego will have to wait.

I just want to get out a few things that have been weighing on my mind since yesterday. But, if the media comes asking, I say No Comment.

What the h-e-double-hockey sticks is wrong with people and the media? Isn't it bad enough that over thirty people are dead because of one psychotic person? Why must we continue to crucify other people as a way to make ourselves feel better? I understand the feeling that people want to be able to blame someone when they are hurting or upset, I do, but when the person responsible is dead, that doesn't mean you lash out at others around you. Right now, there are a few things I take issue with circulating on the internet about the VTech shootings:

1. Why is his race so heavily being brought up? He moved to this country when he was 8 for G-d's sake. I hate to break it to the people who are throwing stones right now, but there are f-ed up people in EVERY race and his race has NOTHING to do with what happened. The way this country is going we will soon no longer have anybody left to racially profile because we will be pointing fingers at everyone.

2. Sure, it's great to be able to look back in hindsight and say that campus administration should have done things differently, but none of us were there, we don't know what they knew. And I think people are forgetting that college campuses are like small cities - can you imagine trying to lock down Canton because of a shooting on Boston St. It couldn't happen. And who is to say everyone would even listen? They were basing their decisions on what was known and at the time they believed it to be an isolated incident. Obviously, we know that to be a HUGE mistake now, but can we really crucify them for acting on what they knew? And frankly, let's say they had better security on campus, how do we know it would have changed the outcome at all? The University of Washington has a high-level safety team that was put in place after a murder-suicide. The aim was to move staffers who are in danger to other offices or provide them extra security protection. However, that system failed recently when a 26-year-old staffer was killed by her ex-boyfriend on April 2. I think this comes back to being able to blame someone, but the sooner people can stop pointing fingers, the sooner they can heal as a community and as a campus. The obvious disclaimer is that I am an outsider looking in because I don't know anyone that was killed, so I can't imagine the pain, but still -- there has to be some perspective over it. A disturbed individual did this and from the sounds of it he would have taken it out on anyone he could -- and if he had been in lockdown, maybe it would have been the dorm instead of the classroom since he was a student. How can a university decipher who is good and who is bad if it's one of their own? There are too many what ifs that will never be answered.

3. Why on earth would the media post the shooter's home address on the internet?? This is where his family lives, not him. People like to take things into their own hands, what has to happen to these people before the media realizes its mistake. Let the police take the time to do their job, figure out if the parents knew anything before you give people the option to punish them.

That's it for now ...

All Alone with My Fifty Dollars

That's all folks. I found out last night that the last of all of my "couple" friends got engaged last week. I am officially in a club all by myself -- the Couple But Not Engaged or Married Club (CBNEM for short). This was such a monumentous occasion that there was a bet placed on it by me and my friend. Whichever couple got engaged first had to pay the other fifty big ones. So, needless to say I was paid $50 last night by my newly fiancéd friend. Her ring is gorgeous, I can't wait for her to start planning the wedding and I am fifty dollars richer. I can't really complain. But man, my finger would look great with a shiny diamond attached to it. I confess I tried hers on and was a little jealous. I'm not talking of making plans to walk down any aisles (chapel or otherwise) anytime soon, but the diamond just sucks me in. So shiny. So sparkly. So diamondy! How am I to resist? I think this is one time the right hand ring will just not do! (it would tide me over, though, maybe if someone else were to buy it for me).

But, I digress. Congrats to Nearry and Mike! Anyone else want to join the CBNEM -- I'll make us t-shirts!

Let's Motor!

So, yesterday was the first day out of my long, illustrious career of 4 months at Maryland that I longed for the days that it took me 9 minutes to roll up at Agora (stopping at DD time included). But, despite two road closures, a turned over pickup truck and a tractor trailer in the side of a row home under the Natty Boh sign in the end, after my initial breakdown, I was ok. It could have been because A. I was alive B. I didn't have a tractor trailer through my living room or C. I didn't get stuck in that same traffic while traveling through the panic attack inducing tunnel. But, when it came down to it, I realized it's because of the Mini.

What can I say, the Mini makes me happy. It's hard to have a bad thought when driving along in a purple car with the sunroof and window open and blasting some PMB (trying to recapture my youth with the musical selection). I know to most it's just a car, but not to me. I worked hard for that Mini after pining away for her for years. And I think she kinda shows the world who I am: reliable and safe, yet quirky; frugal, but willing to splurge; and even sometimes when I am weaving in and out of traffic because I can since she is so small, she even says, "hey, I like to live on the edge" (but not too much bc let's face it, I'm a big sissy). So, yes Mini, I agree with you and your clever advertisement slogan, "Let's Motor!" (I'm also a sucker for a good marketing campaign, so heck, maybe that's how they hooked me).

On another note, does anyone else see the resemblance to an episode of 24 in what's going on with the government lately? First, a secret "letter" is now what the media is saying led to the "war" with Iraq. And now the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi is going to speak with the president of Syria "against the President's and White House's orders." What the heck does that mean? Since when does speaking with someone equate to sponsoring terrorism. I won't get into politics, but seriously I am waiting for the day when Jack Bauer gets the order from President Palmer (#2) to off one of the democratic members of Congress.

Observations from a short girl - #1

Have you ever noticed that every paper towel dispenser in a public place is set to just a height so that when you reach to get one the water runs down your arms and leaves you all wet? I have. As I dried myself off from this such thing on Friday night I started to wonder if this only happened to me because I was so short that the height was not optimized for me, or if this happens to everyone.